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Writing in Public
By Glawgon's Beard, That's Good Writing

Yesterday, a friend tweeted that she was writing a paper and didn't think she'd finish. Several of us ‘helped out’ by contributing some writing to her. I tried to give her a series of genres to choose from…(in chronological order)

Persuasive Essay Truly, it can be said that there are legitimate problems with the trafficking of children, but often ancillary benefits are ignored.

Personal Narrative “It's not that I meant to,” I sobbed, “I was only cutting a new fuck hole in her...I didn't know she'd die, I'm not a doctor”

Slash-Fiction Edward Cullen leaned into him, whispering huskily into his ear. “I want to watch you die as I cum.” “But I'm the boy who lived...”

Classical Horror It is with great trepidation that I endeavor to transcribe the events of the last fortnight before my grip on sanity slips completely. Of course you will now know of the results of my sex tape with @kimkardashian; but we begin with humble bestiality.*

Academic Research Paper The following defines a method for deriving the relationship among adjacent nodes in a network comprised of STDs in my bitch exes.

Pulp Sci-Fi Biff piloted his star cruiser into the spaceport on Zalax's most distant moon with careless aplomb. A blinkie light flashes mutely.

Fantasy “By Glawgon's beard,” the dwarf exclaimed, slamming down his mug, “that is delightful pudding!”

Noir The dame walked in, all long legs and sultry good looks. Hair cascaded down over pert, round breasts. What a twat.

A Third Grade Essay ...And then, I got daddy's bottle of green Mobil juice out. And then, I filled the bowl. And then, I let in the dog...

Nature Channel Script Watch as the newborn calf unsteadily takes her feet. Her mother nudges her gently into tentative first steps. So slow, so sexy.

Web Design Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.

I should totally be an author!

* I cheated a bit here, as this ended up being two tweets long…but, you don't skimp on a Kardashian.