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Earthlink
Interesting conversation with Earthlink, my web hosting provider... who has apparently been butt raping me for like, 3 or 4 years and I didn't know... more on that after the conversation....
'Riley B.' says: Thank you for contacting EarthLink LiveChat, how may I help you today? none@earthlink.net: Do I have access to PHP 4.1 or higher and MySQL 3.23.23 or higher on my web account? Riley B.: Please stand by while i pull up the account. none@earthlink.net: okay, thanks Riley B.: Can i have your domain name. none@earthlink.net: thelances.com Riley B.: Thanks for the information, please stand by. Riley B.: Thank you for being on hold Riley B.: I am sorry, the platform you are under does not support database. none@earthlink.net: i'm on the unix/linux box, right? Riley B.: Customers may utilize PHP in their pages by using the extension .php4. For example, customers could put the following tag: <?php phpinfo()?> in a file called example.php4 and it will execute. none@earthlink.net: umm none@earthlink.net: is my site on a unix/linux box? or a windows box... Riley B.: Before I reveal the account information, I need to verify your account, please provide me the secret pin which is there on the account. none@earthlink.net: ******* i think... or ******* Riley B.: Thank you for providing me the account information for verification. Riley B.: It is *******
Should this be freakin multiple choice? And should he tell me which choice it was? He did say 'secret' pin right... cause that's not very secret... I wonder how many choices I could have listed on there...
Riley B.: I see that your domain in under unix platform. none@earthlink.net: and unix has no DB capability, but windows does? Riley B.: Only windows have the Database capabilities. Riley B.: The database which windows support is Ms-Access. none@earthlink.net: why is that? umm, what? seriously? that's, umm... different... at any rate... is there any way to get mysql access on the *nix box? i mean, odds are it's loaded on there already...
At this point, I'm glad I wasn't on the phone... as the laughter that escaped my lips would have been rude... completely called for... but rude. Way to run a business on MS Access Earthlink... I'm proud.
Riley B.: I am sorry, it is not possible, however you can follow the given below link for rates and softwares which support. none@earthlink.net: what am I paying per month for this, if you can look that up..
I was curious. When I started this thing, it was many years ago, it was when Earthlink was my DSL provider as well, so I don't think I ever checked the price. Now, bear in mind, I assumed I was overpaying... I figured I was paying $10 to $12 a month for this...
Riley B.: https://store.earthlink.net/cgi-bin/wsisa.dll/store/elinks.html?product=hosting&action=feats Riley B.: You are paying $19.95 per month for your domain.
Umm, yeah... $19.95... for CRAP.. what the hell is my problem? Mild retardation apparently... now I'm mildly annoyed...
none@earthlink.net: umm... none of your packages that you just showed me have mysql access... Riley B.: And it is starter site bill plan.
Thanks for rubbing in that I'm a moron, Riley... look at me, I'm paying $20 a month for a frickin' starter site plan... WOOHOO!
none@earthlink.net: 19.95? are you kidding me? Riley B.: And i am sorry, the servers does not support MySql database. none@earthlink.net: dude, not to be a jerk, but that's like, 2.5 times the going rate for hosting, and with a LOT less features... have i been getting raped for $20 a month the whole time, or did the price go up?
At this point, I'm hoping like HELL that the price jumped so I can flip out on them, because if it didn't, I'm one dumb MFer...
none@earthlink.net: i mean, i'm looking at four hosting places now that the HIGHEST of which is like, $9 a month if I go month to month Riley B.: I see that the domain hosted you are paying $19.95 per month. none@earthlink.net: right... none@earthlink.net: you said that, the question is, did my price go up, or have i been paying that the whole time Riley B.: No, the prices not gone up, from starting you are paying $19.95 per month for your domain thelances.com.
I'm one dumb MFer
none@earthlink.net: omg... I'm an idiot none@earthlink.net: that means, at some point, i agreed to that price... right?
I don't know what I'm looking for here, but c'mon, how dumb am I?
Riley B.: Yes as you are agreed for that price as domain is hosted with us.
Again, Riley rubs it in... and, I'm guessing from his grammar... that he's rubbing it in from India... the bastard... he worships frickin cows, and I'm the idiot... *sigh* When all else fails, be a jerk and have fun with the poor CSRs, I always say...
none@earthlink.net: umm... my domain name is hosted through you guys, right... so how much of a pain is it going to be to transfer the domain name management to a new company if, hypothetically mind you, i transferred to a company that charged, say, hypothetically $12 a month less? none@earthlink.net: and had hypothetical mysql access?
Hypothetical is a fun word... hypothetically speaking of course...
Riley B.: In order to change the domain you need to cancel the account with EarthLink, for this you need to call our customer service department.
Riley isn't playing...
none@earthlink.net: right.. i get that part... Riley B.: EarthLink's Business Services Departments can be reached at (800) 955-0186. none@earthlink.net: my question is, do you guys like hold it for a while, or release it immediately? none@earthlink.net: basically, if i try to change, is there going to be a hostage situation... or do you guys let go pretty well none@earthlink.net: unlike my ex girlfriend
Sorry Leah... hehe
Riley B.: Once you cancel the acocunt, to change the name servers etc it will take 1 week. none@earthlink.net: man, i've been with you guys for a couple years too... like, 3 or so i think? at 19.95 a month? i need to lay off the GHB at parties... i mean, my butt hurts to the tune of like, four or five hundred bucks...
At this point, if I were him (hypothetically) I would realize that this conversation can go nowhere nice, and try to end it...
none@earthlink.net: umm, okay, that's reasonable none@earthlink.net: thank you for your help... not that i'm thinking of changing... none@earthlink.net: merely hypothetical
Just in case, you know?
Riley B.: Okay, i request you to call our above number for any changes on your domain. none@earthlink.net: Okay, can do... none@earthlink.net: if i have any to do *wink*Riley B.: Can you be more specefic about the last statement.
Crap, now he thinks I was winking at him... like I'm hitting on him... should I have put like *winks conspiriatorally(SP?)* or something... now he thinks I'm stupid, gay, into him, and leaving earthlink...
none@earthlink.net: if i have any changes to make, i'll be sure to call... if i have any... Riley B.: Yes, for any changed on your account and domain you need to call our customer service.
Thank Buddah, or Gilgamesh, or whomever that you have NO sense of humor Riley... if that's your real name...
none@earthlink.net: okay, gotcha Riley B.: Okay. Thank you for using EarthLink LiveChat. Should you need further assistance, please feel free to contact us again. The chat session has been terminated by the site operator. Apple's new iPod photo: 30GB & 60GB. Now starting at $349. Get free shipping & free engraving at the Apple Store, Click here.
So, needless to day, I will be changing hosts soon, prolly at PowWeb, since they work so nicely with WordPress and all, and that's the blogging software I want to start running this puppy in... Hopefully it'll make picture posting a bit easier... at any rate... off to do some jerking around with the other website situation. Peace...